Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
I finished reading this book July 24, 2016. It took me about seven weeks to read. It should have only taken about four weeks, but as it often goes, life had different plans. But, I'm so glad I finally decided to read it. I remember adding it to my Amazon shopping cart a couple of years ago, and thinking this would be a great book for me and my then-girlfriend to read together, to help us work through some relationship issues; however, at the time I wasn't a "go first" type of person and didn't really have the courage or discipline to undertake it alone. Needless to say, I didn't buy the book then, my life and relationship continued on a downward spiral, and ultimately I found myself single, alone, and tired of my relationships always going the same way, and always ending the same way. Fast forward to now, a lot of changes have been happening in my life, my heart, my attitude, and my relationship with God, so I decided it was time to really dig deep and read a book I knew would expose my past failures, but more importantly, would help me recognize ways to continue to improve myself, particularly in relationships. I think it's worth mentioning that my grandpa passed away on July 11, 2016. The reason that's relevant is because I don't think it's a coincidence that this was the book I was reading when he went to be with the Lord. Why you ask? Because if there was any person that exhibited unconditional love the way this book describes, and the way Jesus asks us to love, it was certainly my grandpa. He loved his wife, his daughter, and his family the "right" way. A way that many of us can only imagine and aspire to. My grandpa, and this book, inspire me to be a better man, a better father, a better son, a better friend, and one day a great husband. I would never tell anyone that they "need" to read this book, because it seems to imply some form of judgement; however, let me just say that anyone who has the desire to go further in their relationship with their spouse or future spouse, or even with their relationship with God, this book is liberating. Yes, it's hurtful at times, and yes you'll have to expose faults and short-comings that maybe you wanted to keep hidden, but take it from me, someone who has had relationship after relationship crash and burn, you have the power to put God first, and let Him change your heart and your attitude, and show you how to move past the chaos of your past, and in to respectful and loving relationships.
"Without love, she reacts without respect. Without respect, he reacts without love."
― Emerson Eggerichs - Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
"As a husband opens his spirit to God, he reopens his spirit to his wife. No husband feels affection toward a wife who appears to have contempt for who he is as a human being. The key to creating fond feelings of love in a husband towards his wife is through showing him unconditional respect."
― Emerson Eggerichs - Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
"Craziness happens when we keep doing the same things over and over with the same ill effect."
― Emerson Eggerichs - Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
"A tiny spark in a dry forest can quickly catch fire, and if a couple doesn't know how to put it out, it can grow into a serious conflagration."
― Emerson Eggerichs - Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
"Often, we focus on our own needs and simply overlook the needs of the other person."
― Emerson Eggerichs - Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
"The woman absolutely needs love, and the man absolutely needs respect. It's as simple — and as difficult — as that."
― Emerson Eggerichs - Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
"When the wife flatly says her husband will have to earn her respect before she gives him any, she leaves the husband in a lose-lose situation. Now he's responsible for both love and respect in the relationship. He must unconditionally love his wife and he also must earn her respect. Is it any wonder he shuts down in the face of all that?"
― Emerson Eggerichs - Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
"Respect does something to the soul of a man. God made him that way."
― Emerson Eggerichs - Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
"Even if she is unfairly nasty, this is no excuse for a man of honor to refuse to obey God's command to love his wife."
― Emerson Eggerichs - Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
"The best way to love a wife is to look beyond her criticisms and complaints to see why she isn't feeling loved."
― Emerson Eggerichs - Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
"Taking the role of the mature mate and moving first may be risky, but it is very powerful."
― Emerson Eggerichs - Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
"When you touch your spouse's deepest need, something good almost always happens. The key to energizing your spouse is meeting your spouse's heartfelt desire."
― Emerson Eggerichs - Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
"We are not called to change everything or everyone. We are only called to be obedient, and God will handle it from there. I would never claim that this is simple and effortless. It takes tremendous faith, courage, and fortitude. But it can pay off in incredible ways."
― Emerson Eggerichs - Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
"Trusting and obeying God's Word because we love and reverence God never, ever makes us a hypocrite!"
― Emerson Eggerichs - Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
"Forgiveness comes when we see our own unrighteousness."
― Emerson Eggerichs - Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
"Nothing is easier than judging, nothing is harder than forgiving, and nothing can reap more blessings."
― Emerson Eggerichs - Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
"God's design is that marriage be a “two-become-one” proposition. As husbands and wives learn to respect each other and love each other, miracles do, indeed, happen. Bad marriages become good, boring marriages become exciting, and good marriages become better and better."
― Emerson Eggerichs - Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
"You cannot go wrong trusting God's revelation. You will learn how to show love in your tone, words, and face, even in the middle of a conflict that would normally send you into some state of stonewalling or irritation."
― Emerson Eggerichs - Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
"A great marriage happens when the tension is dealt with creatively — or when tension is avoided completely by doing a few positive, loving things."
― Emerson Eggerichs - Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
"The most powerful weapons you have are your ears. Just listen to your wife, and she is much more likely to feel understood."
― Emerson Eggerichs - Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
"As a husband, if you can grasp that you don't always have to solve your wife's problems, you will take a giant step toward showing her empathy and understanding."
― Emerson Eggerichs - Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
"When a woman senses that her husband has made a covenant with God and that he's trying to make Jesus the Lord of his life in every area, including his marriage, she feels more secure. When she is assured of her husband's love and loyalty, she is energized and motivated."
― Emerson Eggerichs - Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
"Tension, conflict, and problems will occur, and you must be prepared to deal with all of it."
― Emerson Eggerichs - Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
"The husband is given the awesome responsibility to love his wife just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. That is why the good-willed husband who understands this passage sees it as his duty to protect his wife."
― Emerson Eggerichs - Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
"When love and respect are present in the marriage, husbands and wives process things far more wisely. They accept the fact that a degree of conflict is inevitable in a marriage relationship. As the conversation progresses, neither one overstates his or her position. No one “loses it” emotionally. Proposals are made to solve the conflict. There are offers and counteroffers. There is give and take. All of this results in a course of action that makes sense to both of them."
― Emerson Eggerichs - Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
"Don't give up because it doesn't seem to be working. Keep showing your spouse unconditional love or unconditional respect."
― Emerson Eggerichs - Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
"Don't give up because weeks or months pass with no response. Don't interpret delay as defeat. Don't assume that what you are doing is unfruitful. Most often, love or respect is working on your spouse more than you realize. Something is transpiring in the soul of that person. Have confidence that God will work."
― Emerson Eggerichs - Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
"When you love or respect unconditionally, you are following God and His will for you."
― Emerson Eggerichs - Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
"These seemingly fruitless efforts matter to God because this is the kind of service He rewards. What is wisdom to God is foolishness to the world."
― Emerson Eggerichs - Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
"In the ultimate sense, your marriage has nothing to do with your spouse. It has everything to do with your relationship to Jesus Christ."
― Emerson Eggerichs - Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
"Marriage is a test of how you unconditionally love and respect your spouse as you obey, honor, and please the Lord."
― Emerson Eggerichs - Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
"No matter how depressing or irritating my spouse might be, my response is my responsibility."
― Emerson Eggerichs - Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
"In these pressure situations, you always face a choice: to react in a godly way or in a sinful way."
― Emerson Eggerichs - Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
"The mature husband or wife does not go unnoticed by his or her children. As you learn the truth and seek to act upon it with unconditional respect or unconditional love, realize that you're leaving a legacy."
― Emerson Eggerichs - Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
"To walk in the truth means to order your life by the Word of God. If we want our children to walk in the truth, we must live that same truth before them."
― Emerson Eggerichs - Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
"You're thinking about mistakes you've made, the times you haven't been a good example and those numerous scenes where you didn't show love or respect to your spouse. Don't despair. God has a unique way of eliminating past mistakes. Where there has been sin, His grace abounds. He erases your mistakes and puts more grace in their place."
― Emerson Eggerichs - Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
"Your unconditional love for your wife with no strings attached, simply wanting to obey God and serve Him, can win her."
― Emerson Eggerichs - Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
"Marriage is a tool and a test to allow God's will to be revealed in our lives."
― Emerson Eggerichs - Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
"Allow for time and the Holy Spirit to work."
― Emerson Eggerichs - Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
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